Talking To Your Teenager About Hallucinogens while Battling Narwhals On The Porch

Drugs are everywhere. Legal, illegal, semi-legal and even some moderately legal. They are pretty easy to obtain as well. I bet in most cities every other person you run into is a drug dealer.

So how is a parent supposed to keep their offspring from partaking of drugs?

It’s easy. Don’t.

Seriously, don’t even bother trying to keep your kid off of the magic marshmallows or dank ferns or bath sponges or whatever they are calling it these days. If you do try, then the only natural thing your spawn will do is go out and immediately try all of them.

However, if you don’t give drugs any sort of attention around your ankle-biter, then they are less prone to paying attention to them, ergo the less drugs they do. There is still a chance they will take them up, though, so you must be vigilant.

The best way to make sure your offspring doesn’t die while on drugs is simple; do them with your kid. If there was ever a chance for bonding and to show off your own knowledge of one of the most utilized past-times on earth, this is your chance. You can be the example your kid needs.

Medicinally Yours,


***Disclaimer***Azra has been around children for centuries. While not having any of his own, part of being an exiled angel means blending in on earth. As he traveled the earth, he picked up on a lot of parenting practices across the globe. This blog is meant to share his parenting wisdom with a new generation. And to win a bet.

*Note: any advice given is meant to be satirical and not to be taken literally. Please do not exercise it upon any living being, child or otherwise.*