Ask Azra: Buying A Car

Hey Azra,

I’m about to buy my first car. Any advice on how to get a good deal?

Soon To Be Cruising


Dear Cruising,

Are you out of your ever loving mind? Why would you buy a car? They are terrible, dangerous things. Do you know how many people are killed in motor vehicle accidents every single day? A lot! Do you know that the leading cause of ozone degeneration is gas guzzling vehicles? Another fun fact for you- the leading cause of obesity are cars! Do you want to get fat?

Do yourself a huge favor and don’t even consider wasting your money on one of those things. It’s much healthier and lucrative to walk or get a bicycle. If you are hell bent on spending thousands upon thousands of dollars, get a horse. They tend to be more reliable than a motorized vehicle and can double as your quirky side kick.

Pedestrian For Life!