Happy Wicked Stepmother Day

Mothers' Day, a day to show appreciation and reverence for the women (and motherly men) who makes our lives a little brighter. But what about all of those wicked stepmothers? Where's the Hallmark card for them? Without them being awful, their mentally and physically abused fairy tale children would have never have found their happily ever afters.

Therefore, here's to you!

To the poisoned apple makers: Poisoned apples take a long time to create and a lot of ingredients that you can't just get at the grocery store. That takes time and effort. Good for you!

To the overbearing, task masters: You taught time management, cooking, cleaning, and other skills which could have been so much more useful than simply singing to birds. Here's a thumbs up for you!

To the power-hungry manipulators: You planed out your perfect marriage to that rich man to the smallest detail. It wasn't your fault that he had kids and that those kids refuse to obey simple little orders like turning into animals or marrying someone equally manipulative to increase your power. Don't let the selfishness of others get you down!

To the insanely jealous and homicidal psychos: Sure, you murdered and lost stepchildren on purpose, but you did it with style. You deserve some you-time!

So, wicked stepmothers out there, tighten the restraints on your burning iron slippers and tell your ugly birth children to give you some room to dance..until you fall over.