Ask Azra: The Alien/Angel Connection

Dear Azra,

You’re supposed to be an angel right? Well, aren’t angels technically aliens since they aren’t from earth? If angels aren’t aliens, then what is the difference between them?

Thanks,

Conspiracy Theorist in Waiting

Dear Conspiracy,

What in all of creation are you smoking? Where did this question even come from? Can I just tell you how ridiculous this is? However, because you wrote in, I have no choice but to answer, but be forewarned, I have VERY strong opinions that I am about to unleash. Anyone who is easily offended (looking at you keyboard warriors), please go check out another more interesting corner of this site.

Ok, now that they are gone. I will address your insolent and absurd questions one at a time.

1.      I’m not just supposed to be an angel, I actually am one. Yep! I’m a Grigori, also known as a Watcher. Don’t know what choir that is? That’s why the gods created Google.

2.      No, angels most certainly are NOT aliens. Just because we aren’t from earth doesn’t automatically mean we are relegated to the status of little slimy green men or space insects with domination complexes. How dare you even draw the comparison!

3.      There is a massive difference between aliens and angels. The primary example being that angels are sophisticated celestial beings who are older than humans by a long shot. We have been on earth a millennia longer than you lot. We help humans when we can and protect them from our evil brothers and sisters, the fallen angels.

By contrast, aliens are sophisticated celestial beings with a penchant for technology and space exploration. They are convinced that their ways are the only ways and will eradicate the human species in the blink of an eye. You won’t catch us angels trying to take over other planets! We can’t even confidently work the internet, so piloting a spacecraft is just out of the question.

I hope this has answered your dumb question on the major differences between angels and aliens. There is no connection. We are not the same.

Keep Your Alien Theories to Yourself

Azra

***Disclaimer***Azra is not someone to take advice from. He’s not even human- he’s an exiled angel that gets his kicks dispensing horrible advice to people. Do not take his advice seriously. It is meant to be satirical and not to be taken literally.