Ask Azra: My Coworker Smells Really Bad...

Dear Azra

There’s a guy that sits next to me at work who stinks to high heaven. I mean literally, stinks! I’m not sure when the last shower this guy had, but it must have been months ago. How do I tell him that he smells really bad and how can I get him to bathe?

Wishing For Nose Blindness

The question I have for you, Blindness, is why are you so insecure about your own human smell? You do understand that scents like linen sheets, sugar cookies, and plumeria are not realistic for a human to maintain, right?

Humans tend to forget that they are creatures of earth and as such, have a certain olfactory markers. They are called pheromones and they are nature’s perfume! Pheromones are the smell that your pores give off in relation to your mood or health and your general state of living. Why so many humans are ashamed of this glorious odor is something that, truth be told, baffles the hell out of me. You lot wash away your unique stench and mask it with unrealistic and unhealthy pheromone standards. No healthy human is supposed to smell like “Obsession” or “Cherry Blossoms”.

Perhaps your coworker isn’t the problem, Blindness. I think he is spot on and living the life he is meant to. Maybe you are the problem because you promote inhumane scent standards.

I challenge you to adopt your coworker’s way of life for a minimum of 90 days. Don’t bathe, use scented soaps or lotions, or even that body spray stuff that is so popular nowadays.  Your natural smell isn’t something to be ashamed of. Revel in it! This is how the creator made you! I guarantee you will have a new appreciation for life after those 90 days. Also, stop trying to push unrealistic scent standards on your peers. It’s just rude.


***Disclaimer***Azra is not someone to take advice from. He’s not even human- he’s an exiled angel that gets his kicks dispensing horrible advice to people. Do not take his advice seriously. It is meant to be satirical and not to be taken literally.