In Defense of... Wait, what the hell is this?

We interrupt your regularly scheduled blog for a WTF moment. Three weeks ago a comment showed up on my Women of Science Fiction entry which (like a diligent writer) I finally checked tonight. What I found was the following:

My dream finally comes through i never believe this will happen to me, i am here to share my testimony how dr Oseiboh help me to cast death spell on my uncle who killed my parents because of his company, and the matter was taking to court and was not giving justice because i was not having any prove not until i came across this great spell caster online and i explain everything that happened to me and he promise to help me cast the spell within 48hours that i should send my uncle full name and his picture that is going to confess before he die which i did as he commanded.within 2days my uncle started confessing and finally die. am grateful for what dr Oseiboh did for me and with that i promise to share this testimony to all the viewers around the globe,If you are having similar issues please do contact him,you can contact dr Oseiboh for any death spell, such as to kill your superior in the office and take his or her place,love spell,lottery,pregnancy spell,divorce spell,stop court case and win any court problems,business spell, death spell to kill your father and inherit his wealth ,death spell to kill anyone who have scammed you in the past ,spell for increase in salaries, spell for promotion at the office, spell to get your ex lover back,money spell,if things is not working well in your life then you need to contact him now

Spelling errors aside, does this person realize he just made himself an accomplice to a crime of some kind? He’s advertising death spells using a blog comments bot and apparently does not care that he’s clearly a sloppy killer (or employer of killers)? This Dr. Oseiboh better have some moral aspect to his career not being advertised. He needs to hire new marketers if that’s the case, because this guy is makes him sound rather shady. Plus, they are advertising him in all of the wrong spots. A quick Google search revealed another of these ads on The Economist’ s article about the Ebola crisis. Can Dr. Oseiboh cure Ebola? If so, I feel that the ad should lead with that.

Does Dr. Oseiboh do minor inconvenience spells or only the extremes and, if so, is there a price difference? Would he accept livestock as payment like in the good ole’ days? How many roosters would it cost me to have the woman who cuts me off on the freeway to get a bad case of acid re-flux? Does he have a jingle involving the words “Walla Walla Bing Bang”? Is his familiar an ostrich or some other outlandish creature? Does he do house calls or only work through online sources? If so, can he also cast computer virus spells? Does he accept my insurance? Are his services tax deductible? When he places the love spell, lottery, pregnancy, and divorce spell, does it always happen in that order? What is his refund policy? Can he bring someone back to life if you are not satisfied with the death spell cast? What if I only wanted a simple maiming and he caused disembowelment?

And lastly, if I were to use this Dr.’s spooky services, would I then too be cursed to place random comments in unrelated blogs and articles advertising how his changed my life? If I am pulled into this powerful pyramid scheme, do I get a cut? Will I too, receive a number of roosters?

The mind. It boggles.

Little Bunny Foo Foo - What's up with that?

Let’s fight some foo - Calm down, Dave Grohl fans. I’m referring to a rather ridiculous song that hops into being and multiplies amongst all children this time of year. Little Bunny Foo Foo, for those who have been spared this repetative earworm, is a nursury rhyme/folk song about an abusive rabbit. His chosen victims of blunt torture are field mice. He’s told by a fairy that if he doesn’t stop then she’ll turn him into a goon. Long story stort (too late) the moral of the song is “hare today, goon tomorrow.”

Now that you’ve been bopped on the head like an unsuspecting field mouse with that pun - I ask you what the hell is up with this song? First of all, I tried researching it and no one can decide on how old it is or where it comes from. There’s some suggested connection between the song and Popeye, but I’ll let you look that up on your own so I can continue ranting. 

I know that this song is only a part of the Easter rotation because it’s about a rabbit. is this really appropriate, people? Would Jesus like it if he was awoken from the cave only to use his ressurection to scold Foo Foo? Would fertility goddesses of old feel honored by Foo Foo using the Spring bopping field mice instead of bopping other bunnies in order to reproduce?

What? Why do you look like that? These are serious and totally appropriate questions. No. Shut up! Or I’ll turn you into a goon.