Humans are nosey creatures. Always have been. If given half a chance, they will pester you tell them what is happening, what has happened, and what will happen around them. In the early days of earth’s inhabitance, they were so annoying with their inane questions and interruptions that the Grigori (earth-bound angels sent to help humans and rid the world of Fallen ones) tried to teach them various forms of divination so they could search out their own answers. Hey, we did what we had to do; the internet hadn’t been invented yet!
The one that really stuck with the humans was the practice of astrology, or demanding answers from the celestial bodies of the sky. The main gist of it was decoding how the positions of certain star clusters at the time of their birth affected a person. There were also other applications to this such as predicting the best time to do a certain activity. Throughout the millennia, humans clung to the parts that defined and led to understanding of themselves instead of things around them. The best at this were the Chinese, whose astrology system is still in heavy use today. After them, the Chaldeans took the prize for the second most influential introspective star-gazers. Notable mentions also go to the Vedic and Mayan systems. Still, none of them have the extra advantage of being a celestial citizen like me.
Over time and with new scientific breakthroughs, the art of astrology has diminished over time. It used to be a respected scholarly pursuit. It’s high time that it was brought back into the mainstream. Look, I am going to level with you. This past year of 2020 has been a nightmare on so many levels. Do I think that the practice of more astrology would have helped any? Maybe? Who knows. But I do think if we don’t want 2021 to be a dumpster fire, then it really couldn’t hurt.
In fact, because of this, I’m going to do you a favor. You all need some divine guidance and re-learn how to see these nightmares coming. Who better to guide you through this journey of rediscovered knowledge than me, your friendly neighborhood exiled angel? Yes. I know. You’re welcome.
Here’s the horoscope for the week. Next week we will start diving into the details.*
Aquarius (Jan 20 – Feb 18)
It’s time to act! Do the thing, but make sure you have a partner with you beforehand, otherwise the consequences will be more than you want to deal with.
Leo (Jun 23 – Aug 22)
Are you tired of being in the dark yet? Too bad! You have to keep looking for that lamp. The gods eat your frustration for their afternoon snack!
Pisces (Feb 19 – Mar 20)
You are healing people with your infectious attitude and persistent optimism. Be proud of yourself (but not too proud)
Virgo (Aug 23 – Sep 22)
Why are you being so greedy? You don’t have to manipulate people into getting what you want. Be nice.
Aries (Mar 21 – Apr 19)
Your patience is being tested in new and exciting ways. Irresponsible actions of others will push you to the breaking point. Attack!
Libra (Sep 23 – Oct 22)
Your conflict-resolution skills are on point lately! Might be time to consider a new career in the justice system.
Taurus (Apr 20 – May 20)
Stop trying to change yourself so quickly. Perfection takes time and you’ve got a long way to go. Pace yourself.
Scorpio (Oct 23 – Nov 21)
The key is to pick fights that will be amusing to you, not the ones that you can outright win. It’s a bleak time for entertainment. Get it where you can.
Gemini (May 21 – Jun 20)
It’s time to start that cult you always wanted. Make sure the philosophy is logic-proof if you want it to last.
Sagittarius (Nov 22 – Dec 21)
Watch out for those who threaten your ego with aggressive opinions. They are probably Aries and they may or may not try to kill you.
Cancer (Jun 21 – Jul 22)
You need to put yourself in time out until you can get your priorities straight. Go. Now.
Capricorn (Dec 22 – Jan 19)
The early bird gets the worm! Get your day started right and you will have all the worms.
* I wish it went without saying that Azra is a work of fiction. Please do not take it seriously.