Family Guy (Brian Writes a Bestseller): Movies about Writing

I’m going to assume everyone knows the premise of the adult cartoon “Family Guy”, but just-in-case the basic idea is a series of random events occurring to Peter, his wife Lois, their teenage son Chris, their emotionally abused daughter Meg, their British-accented baby Stewie, and their pretentious talking dog Brian. It’s been on for years, I promise you. Most of the characters are voiced by creator Seth McFarlane so I’m not going to give you the whole cast list. You can look it on imdb.com if you’re curious.

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“Brian Writes a Bestseller” comes from season 9 (see I told you it’s been on for a long time). An ongoing theme has been Brian the dog wanting to be a professional writer. The episode opens with his only published work, a drama with a plot suspiciously similar to the film Iron Eagle entitled Faster Than the Speed of Love, being sent to him. His publisher has given up on the novel and mailed 300 boxes worth of copies to the author. The joke about his failure goes a step further when Stewie realizes the copies of the book are packaged within shredded additional copies of the same book. At least, Brian declares defeat and swears he will give up writing.

First of all - ouch! What kind of contract did he have with this publisher? I know it was all a gag for opening of the episode, but. . . oh man. Just ouch.

In a fit of rage, Brian complains how all of the “crap” on the bestseller list is currently self-help fodder that he could churn out in three hours of writing time. Stewie (who I would like to remind you is a devious baby with a thick U.K. accent and several doomsday devices in his toy box) happily encourages Brain to try this writing exercise. Brian finishes Wish It, Want It, Do It in 3 hours and 27 minutes, referring to it as a “big steaming pile of book”.

Off topic, but I have referred to some of my books in their first draft phase with similar monikers. There’s one my boyfriend and I still call “the gilded turd” because upon first edit I discovered it wasn’t AS BAD as I originally thought - but still not great. He’s never actually read it. He just calls it that based on my own self-criticism and complaining. . . and I never told him the real title.

In case you can’t tell from the episode title, Wish It, Want It, Do It becomes an immediate success after it’s published by Penguin (for you book nerds, there’s a sex joke about the Big Five company about 4 minutes into the episode then again right before the 11 minute mark). Brian hires Stewie to be his overzealous publicist. It takes no time for Brian to become a nightmare celebrity who takes out all of his aggression on Stewie. He also tries to use his fame to hit on women, but mostly it creeps them out. Yes, human women. The dog dates human women - mostly blondes. Don’t. . . don’t think about that one too hard. Either way, you get where this episode is going. Let’s move on.

Personally, I’ve yet to have the opportunity to become a garbage human being thanks to fame, but I can relate to the idea of writing to a trend in hopes of building a name in the business. This concept is something all established authors tell you not to do, but everyone tries it anyway. I’ve know people who have tried to ride the vampire trend, the werewolf trend, the erotica trend, the historical romance trend, etc. What happens most times, is the writer gets bored because it’s not the story he or she wants to be working. Now, if it’s something that can be churned out in 3 an a half hours and published without editing and published without edits, that’s different. But that’s also why “Family Guy” is a cartoon.

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Monkeys of Betrayal

 

                Fictional monkeys. Such good sidekicks. Abu. Boots. Playful Heart Monkey (yes, Care Bears count). So cute. So silly. So loyal. So nothing like what you see at the zoo. Or are they?

Here is my list of top five fictional monkeys who deceived us in some way (spoilers ahead):

5. The Evil Monkey who Lives in Chris Griffin’s Closet

                Even though he was once a good monkey who overcomes his grief to go back to being a good monkey, this Family Guy reoccurring sight gag tormented a kid season after season because he was bitter that his monkey wife cheated on him. I know this is a show of illogical jokes, but who constantly points menacingly from within a closet in stranger’s house? He wasn’t actually evil, but he was most certainly a jackass.

4.  All Organ Grinder Monkeys

                This is a generalized comment on all classic films which featured an organ grinder and his cute little monkey grifter. Don’t be fooled by the man turning the crank and playing the music. The true mastermind behind this sidewalk attraction was always the monkey. You know that little so-and-so was using the ploy to pick pockets and spread fleas just for the fun of it.

3. Jack the Monkey

                I secretly like this buccaneer monkey from the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise. That being said, let’s face it – he was a little jerk. He was obsessed with cursed gold, he was the minion of a traitor, and he was dressed better than most of the other pirates which, to me, suggests a sort of manipulative deviousness.

2. The Monkey from Raiders of the Lost Ark

                This was the first time as a child when I was not devastated when an animal in a movie died. Granted, I wasn’t thrilled, but it was not the Neverending Story horse or Bambi’s mom scenario. He spied on and was part of a plot to kill Indiana Jones. This was even after Marion was so sweet to him. Enough said.

1. Curious George

                He’s not a monkey! He has no tail! He’s an ape. The Man with the Yellow Hat is in league with a primate of lies!