I did it! Had Halloween in June! There were costumes and pumpkins. . . Actually, I couldn't get a decent pumpkin so I just stabbed some holes into the biggest orange I could find. And everyone I know said it was too hot for full costumes, so most people just wore bed sheets over their clothes. Then the cops were called because the neighbors reported that we were having a frat party and throwing candy at their children. The police showed up after we had turned off the lights in order to play with a Ouiji Board. We told the officers that there was nothing to worry about, unless they wanted to help us catch the demon we'd accidentally released. I laughed. The police laughed. The demon laughed. And then I don't really remember what happened after that. But I have to say, based on the way my house looked when I woke up, it must have been successful. Now, if I could just figure out who left behind their hat and severed head.
Let's face it - Christmas in July is the pits. I don't care how much you say you love it or how many cheaply produced Hallmark movies you binge in the middle of Summer, it's an awful reminder of the stress-inducing, materialism of what should be a time of warmth and kindness. It's a cheap and a lame excuse for decking non-existent halls.
That haven't been said - WHERE IS THE HALLOWEEN EQUIVALENT?
I want a horror movie marathon throughout the month of June!
I want the It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown to disrupt my favorite summer non-cable show.
I want an excuse to buy fun size candy bars and awkwardly wait on my porch for kids to come!
I want kids to tell me about Hocus Pocus like it's brand new!
I want to walk around my neighborhood in a witch hat and have no one wonder why!
Let's do this, people! Grab those plastic pumpkins and purple lights! Join the Halloween in June revolution!